


Justice is my Middle Name

by FeyMeggan



Series: Sophie 'Verse [6]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, Here's where I fix things that aren't broken, also, maybe he's a skrull, so shush and just read it, why isn't Fury swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-25 14:01:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/639617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeyMeggan/pseuds/FeyMeggan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wait, if Sophie calls everyone by their full name, and Darcy's seen his medical forms....  Why does SHIELD record his middle initial as 'J' when it's not?  Oh Fury, you tease.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Justice is my Middle Name

**Author's Note:**

> So okay, DoomPrincess and I were being silly fan girls one night at...wherever we were. And we figured Coulson needed a fairly terrible middle name to accompany the Sophie-verse we were creating. I forgot that MCU Phil already had the middle initial of 'J' when we gave him 'Eugene'. So this is where I explain that away. Read on.

“Invention is my middle name!” Tony crowed as he plopped the upgraded roomba into the living room. The small robotic vacuum cleaner set to work trying to get all the popcorn left over from movie night. This was the eighth version Tony had 'upgraded' to do the job, and Darcy gave this one a one in twelve chance of succeeding. Mostly because Clint was using them as targets, and Natasha was using them as weapons. So, really, each generation was so much scrap for the next one to try to clean up.

“No, you're middle name is Edward,” she snarked as she prodded Coulson to lift his feet as the small, industrious cleaner moved by the sofa. “Sophie rattles it off every time she see's you.”

“Okay Georgiana,” he pointed the small screwdriver at her as he poked at the remains of roomba number five. It'd survived the areal assault mostly intact, but Natasha had claimed the small wheels as projectiles to use on Clint. Darcy was fairly certain Tony was trying to make this one fly.

“You call me that again and no one will find the body,” she death glared at him. Only mothers and Sophie got away with the middle name.

“Children,” Coulson spoke as the two of them growled at each other. “I will not fill out another incident report if this escalates. You can do it yourselves.”

This stopped them both. Darcy because she hated filling out reports, and Tony because he hated the sad look on Steve's face when he found out he hadn't filled out the reports. “Okay Eugene,” Tony quipped and Darcy gave him a puzzled look.

“Eugene? What, you naming people now? You've got roombas for that you know.”

“No, that's Agent's middle name, Sophie told me. Well not directly, but you know. How she does that thing. For everyone. So yeah, Phillip Eugene.” He gave her a smug look. “You're an awful assistant for not knowing that. Pepper knew my middle name, and the other eleven parts of my social security number, and, well. Pepper knows all.” A vague, but still very true statement.

“No, I'm a fabulous assistant, and all of his things say his middle initial is 'J'. So you're just wrong. Sit there and be wrong and think about your wrongness!” she pointed, the motion eerily similar to his early pose.

“Are you calling Sophie a liar?!” Tony looked scandalized. “Back me up Phil. Seriously, it's Eugene. What the hell. What would the J even be for? Jermaine? Jerry? Jennifer?”

“Actually,” the agent continued working on the latest in the mission briefings he sent on to Fury as he told his story.

~*~*~*~*  
Coulson's first day on the job

A black man in a dark suit entered the hospital room; Coulson fixed his unsteady gaze on him and tried to look stoic. This apparently amused the man somewhat as he pulled the visitor chair close to the table Phil was seated on.

“Probie,” the man glanced at the folder in his hands. “Coulson.”

“Phillip Eugene Coulson, Probationary SHIELD agent, identification number 1974439.” Phil rattled off; you could hear the Army training behind it.

“Good, you know who you are; apparently there was no permanent damage to accompany your concussion. Do you know who I am?”

“Yes sir. Senior Agent Nicholas Joseph Fury, second in command behind Director Timothy Aloysius Cadwallader Dugan.” Phil blinked slowly when Fury's brows rose.

“Also correct, so either we've met already and I forgot, or you did your homework very thoroughly Probie. I'm going to assume it was the later.” He tapped the edge of the folder against his knee. “But, seeing as the medical staff gave you the 'good stuff' for that shoulder I'm going to make this quick. I'm here to verify the report you turned in, so if I could have you focus a bit?” The intensity of Phil's gaze magnified and Fury filed it away for further thought later. The man was on enough pain killers it should have been a hopeless task, and yet... 

“At 1743 hours today, after eight hours of employment with SHIELD, you ascertained that your assigned Senior Field Agent, Agent Albert Andreas, was a sleeper agent of the terrorist group HYDRA,” Phil cleared his throat forcing Fury to pause. “Was there something you wanted to add Probie?”

“Yes sir, actually, sir, I'd determined that Agent Andreas was part of HYDRA after four hours and fifty-three minutes, but I needed time to work out a strategy and wait for the area to clear of other personnel.”

Leaning back in the chair Fury eyed the man, trying to see if he was yanking his chain. “Fine, I'll add the amendment in on time frame after this. So, at that time you incapacitated the man with a stapler, a file folder, and a thesaurus.” This time when Coulson made a noise Fury just looked at him.

“A bridge.” he noted.

“Excuse me Probie? You were inside the SHIELD facilities; there is no bridge in there.” Fury now figured the drugs were kicking in, possibly making the man delusional.

“No, abridged. The thesaurus I mean.” he waved at the report. So Fury flipped to the clause and sighed.

“Yes, I see you noted that it was with 'a Swingline stapler, standard size, A4 sized file folder, and one copy of the Desktop Abridged Rodgets Thesaurus.” He gave Coulson a look, “Very thorough.”

“I try sir; I feel the details are what keep things rolling along smoothly.” The man had a killer poker face, or was serious. Either way he was not what Fury had expected when he had been called to deal with this.

“With the aforementioned items you disabled the Agent; having chosen to NOT alert his immediate supervisor, or alerting anyone else to the suspicions you harbored I might add.”

“You were in a meeting with the Director sir; you are his immediate supervisor I believe. And when I was recruited I was told that SHIELD valued people who took immediate actions when the situation warranted.” He didn't even have the grace to look contrite about this whole thing.

“I am.” was all Fury was willing to concede to that whole thing. “So, once incapacitated you then began to restrain him with,” this time to prevent another interruption he looked down and recited. “Three large alligator clips, one Reddman tie, and a roll of Scotch brand desk tape.” The Agent paused and when nothing was added he continued. “At which time you were attacked by Junior Agent Hill. This is where I need you to fill in the rest Probie.”

“Sir. I failed to make sure that all personnel were in fact off site when I began this. Agent Hill, not being privy to the full situation, felt I was in fact a double agent and sought to disarm me and free Agent Andreas. During the scuffle she used her shoe to lacerate my side and dislocated my left shoulder before I could successfully explain my actions to her. At that time she contacted emergency services and I was brought here. I apologize for failing to fill out the form completely during the trip here; I won't let it happen again.” The man, currently looking like he'd gone ten rounds with a grizzly, was apologizing for failing to finish a fifteen page form...while his arm was dislocated.

“I'll let it go, this time. May I ask, though, what this attached form for reimbursement is for? You clearly used his own tie and office supplies, so what are replacing?” The man blushed. He actually flushed red when Fury finished his question.

“Uhm, well,” he cleared his throat and glanced down at his braced arm. “To...dissuade Agent Hill I was forced to smash my Captain America mug against her skull. It shattered, stopped her for a moment so I could explain, but the thing is...it's a collectors item from the '82 Comic Con. I can try to find it cheap through some sources, but as I was assured that any personal property damaged in the line of duty was covered...well....” He dropped off, his cheeks flagged red as Fury let out a deep laugh.

“I'll see what I can do.” He closed the folder and sobered his expression. “The one thing I don't get is why did you do all this? It's not like it would have taken much to send a memo, he wouldn't have gotten away. We would have stopped him, even if he had caught on that you'd outted him. So why the damned heroics to put him down?”

“Well, sir, after the last bombing at the embassy someone needed to clear up the leak. HYDRA killed a lot of innocent people, and they deserved justice, not me just passing on information up the ladder.”

“Justice?” Fury lifted a brow and stared the man down.

“My middle name, sir, after all what's our job if not to stand up for those that can't do it for themselves?” Coulson gave him an earnest, straight stare. Fury hummed in response and stood. Striding to the door he opened it, yet before he stepped out he gave a small, dangerous smile.

“I'll keep that in mind, Agent.”

~*~*~*~*

“And that's how my middle name will forever be 'Justice' on SHEILD paperwork.” Coulson finished telling his story even as he finished his paperwork and shut down the laptop. Staring first at Darcy then Stark he waited for them to start the wise-cracks. The teasing and the taunts. When Barton had found out the man had monogrammed towels slipped into Phil's house, and other such nonsense. A warm hand clasped him on the shoulder and it was years of training that prevented Phil from launching Steve over his shoulder.

“A good middle name Agent Coulson, but I like your given one better,” Captain America smile on his lips Steve squeezed and released the older man's arm. Giving Tony a look he moved on, and Phil knew that was the end of the matter.... At least until Darcy spread it around HQ again.


End file.
